As Mark Twain put it, “the ideal life consists of good friends, a good book, and a sleepy conscience.” Friendship is an important part of our lives, and no one can lift us higher than a friend.
On the other hand, friendship may fade over time, and we may find ourselves drifting apart from our companions. When we reach a certain age, it is common for everyone to have difficulty keeping a friend. It’s hard to discover someone who shares your interests, hobbies, and willingness to share your joys and sorrows.
If you’ve met someone new or already have a friend but aren’t sure how they feel about you. It’s crucial to know the difference between real and fake friends. And to figure out what they’re really up to. There are some subtle signs they may display to show their real intentions.
How To Tell if Someone Doesn’t Want To Be Your Friend Anymore
Not Happy With Your Success.
Someone interested in becoming your friend is not envious of your achievements and celebrates your successes. Whether if your victory is small or big; a true friend always praises you. They become happy when you share your good news.
People who don’t think of you as a friend, on the other hand, do not care about your happiness. They often make nasty comments on your victory and may even shut you down. You should keep your distance from these two-faced people and stop caring about them.
You Are Always the One Initiating Contact.
Do you always reach out to your friend first? If this is the scenario, they probably don’t think of you the same way you feel about them. Investing all of your time and energy in a person who does not make any effort is not wise.
Someone likely to be your friend approaches you first to hang out every once in a while. Real friendships should be energizing and based on mutual admiration rather than draining.
They Don’t Sound Happy When You Contact Them
The habit of always making the first move further carries another sign of someone not wanting to be your friend!
You may notice that your “friends” show little enthusiasm when contacting them. They unapologetically let you know that they do not want to carry on the conversation with the tone of their speech or the one-word answers.
No response or Communicate Briefly
If your friend starts cutting conversations with you, it is one of the prominent signs that they’re losing interest in the friendship.
They will neither care about your phone calls nor make an effort to call you back. Likewise, they won’t respond to your text for days, if they do, it is often a brief close-end statement.
Do Not Provide You With Any Support
In a genuine friendship, you share joys and sorrows. They show support for our growth and offer us advice when needed. In contrast, a person who does not provide emotional support does not care enough to be your friend.
Often Put You Down.
If someone constantly insults you or makes mean comments in front of others, that person is not your friend. By doing so, they’re attempting to embarrass you to feel superior.
It’s one thing to crack a joke occasionally, but if they’re continuously making fun of you, it’s a sign that they don’t care about how you’re feeling. Real friends make honest comments and deliver them to you maturely.
Invade Your Personal Space
A friend with a healthy attitude respects personal space. They can maintain boundaries for their own and others’ behavior. But someone who does not mind your well-being ignores to accommodate these limits.
It is all about “giving and taking.” While you communicate with someone who does not respect our private space, you might feel like walking on eggshells.
Exclude You From Their Activities
There might be that one friend who tries to dodge you by saying they are too busy to hang out, but at the same time, you might find them spending time with other people.
Or let’s say you have a few mutual friends who are invited to some event but you did not get an invitation. In such a case, it is clear that they want to keep you out of activities they have arranged.
Real friends will go out of their way to see you, while false friends will make excuses not to. If you meet such shallow friends in public, they’ll try their best to shorten the conversation and find a reason to leave immediately.
Reach Out for Selfish Intentions
Some people are not in touch most of the time, but they suddenly start acting close when they want or need something from you.
It could happen if they are looking for a loan, a place to stay for the night, or need a favor regarding their business/work. Such behaviors indicate that they try to take advantage of you when convenient.
It is common for friends to seek help occasionally, but that should not be the sole reason to contact you. Good friends love to spend time with you because they like your company. There is no hidden motive behind it.
Don’t Accept Your Invitations
They are always busy when you try to plan something together, and they don’t put any effort into rescheduling it for the next time! Claiming to be always busily suggesting they don’t want to be your friend anymore.
Sure, several things will get in the way of life, and the plans might get canceled. Postponing a program is not a big issue. But, you deserve a friend who is just as eager as you to spend time together.
No Interactions on Social Media.
A close friend tags you in photos, communicates with you often, shares different posts, and interacts with you on social media. If this stops, they may no longer value the friendship especially if they comment on other people’s posts but not yours.
No Interest in What’s Going On in Your Life.
In a true friendship, your buddy wants to know how you’ve been doing in your life. They check on you and make you feel like they care about you. Every detail about your life interests them, and they actively listen to you.
However, if your friend never wants to know about you and is only focused on talking about themselves, that person can’t be considered a friend. It’s a clear sign they’re self-centered, and probably, don’t care enough to be your friend.
Avoid You and Make Weak Excuses To Meet You
You can’t consider someone a friend who regularly avoids you with lame excuses! Having no valid explanations for canceling on you every time is a reg flag in friendship.
Sometimes you cannot fit everything into your planned schedule and might need to postpone some arrangements. But a person wanting to see you in the first place should have a reasonable excuse. And if they don’t, it shows that they don’t care about your feelings.
Reasons Why Someone Doesn’t Want To Be Your Friend
There are several reasons why some relationships might not work, and someone would refuse to be your friend, no matter how much you try to invest in them.
- They may already have too many close friends and don’t see you fitting into their lives.
- They might be introverted or may have problems approaching first.
- You two may not have much in common, and they don’t like you for your habits.
- Sometimes negative factors like envy also wedge in. Many friendships fail because of jealousy.
In this scenario, you must search for companions who have similar feelings and interests. Try to make new friends who will not judge you and belittle you. Find soul mates who will support you till the end.
Things To Do When Someone Doesn’t Want To Be Friends
If most of the above signs correlate with you, it is clear that this person does not want to get involved. It hurts- even more if you want them to be your friend.
Some of the old friendships also get dissolved with time. If you were close once and they stopped contacting you, it is sensible to check once or twice with them.
At times, it could be possible that something is preventing them from reaching out. Remember that it is always a good idea to make an informed judgment rather than a quick and harsh one.
Despite all, if they still give you the cold shoulder, it is a complete waste to feel stressed because someone who has already decided to be out of your life. So, what can you do afterward? Here are some tips which might help you to move on.
- Try to detach but don’t be harsh to yourself.
- Don’t stay ruminating over memories.
- Redirect your concentration to something else.
- Keep in mind what you’ve learned.
- Get rid of anything that reminds you of the broken friendship.
- Practice self-care. Go out with other friends you have.
- Limit your use of social media, and don’t post unnecessarily.
- Make a conscious effort to take little actions at one time.
- Accept reality.
It is not easy losing a good friendship. But with time, people’s perception changes, they might go through several life events, or people stop seeking company. You don’t have to make everything about yourself and understand that it is a way of life.
Friendship is a two-way street, and nothing comes out good if it has to be forced. You might eventually lose touch with several friends who might be closer to you once.
If you think someone is trying to pull away from your life, trust your gut and watch for signs. if it is prevalent then let it go with honor. “Darling, you still have not met even half of the people who will love you” as an old saying goes.