In our society, losing a best friend is far less talked about than losing a significant other. While we have always undervalued friendship breakups, losing a friend can be as painful as losing a romantic partner.
We’re not talking about a casual friend here, but rather a best friend. Ending a friendship with your best friend is difficult no matter who decides to call it quits. Like all other grief processes, a broken friendship takes time to heal.
You might be confused now and want to rekindle your broken two-way relationship. If your friend canceled, you might want to learn how to accept it and move on with your life. This article will assist you in grieving the loss of a best friend.
When Should You Get Over A Best Friend
Everyone lives a different life, so we may not know the exact factors leading to losing one’s friendship. But, if your best friend did hurt you and did not seem to care about your feelings anymore, you should decide to get over them.
Sure, it will feel painful, but in the long run, you would not want a friend who is too arrogant to care about their own best friend. Here are some of the signs that suggest you should get over your best friend:
- If they repeatedly let you down.
- If they betrayed you with something in which you had placed your faith.
- If you are always sad and upset after meeting them.
- If they are causing you embarrassment by their terrible manners.
- If they’ve lost interest in your life and are avoiding you.
- If they are no longer the same individual.
- If they show the sign of personal insecurity or jealousy.
How To Get Over Losing a Best Friend
Like all other grief processes, a broken friendship can be difficult and take time to heal, but we need to understand that it’s not the end of the world. So, what can be done afterward?
Here are some tips that will be helpful for you to cope with that void!
Recognize Your Sorrow and Grieve
It is important to acknowledge your pain. The trauma of losing a deep friendship is as real and valid as losing any other bond. The two of you probably had every moment together and created too many memories.
For instance, you might talk for hours on the phone every single day. Several girls have reported that the breakup among best friends is more painful than it feels in a love relationship.
It hurts. Now that it’s all gone, please don’t attempt to convince yourself that it’s nothing. Doing so, you may never find answers because suppressing your feelings will not help you process your grief and go on.
Don’t Feel Guilty or Bad
Right now, amid the loss, it becomes difficult to view things clearly as you are experiencing strong emotions. It takes a while for the feelings to settle after a bad fight or quarrel.
For the time being, it is best to avoid speaking because you’re more likely to regret actions made in the heat of the moment. Until you both cool down, it is best not to call your friend and avoid exacerbating the situation. Do not add further guilt and remorse to your relationship!
Not All Friendships Last Forever
Broken friendships can sometimes be mended with the help of willingness and work from both parties. And then there are times when it simply cannot be taken any farther. You must embrace the truth that no relationship can last forever despite the label BFF (best friend forever).
Recognize That Recovery Takes Time
Several studies have estimated that it requires roughly six months to move on from a broken relationship or heartbreak. And in these six months, a person passes through particular phases of mourning after losing the bond with a loved one. The majority of people go through these five stages throughout this period:
Stage 1: Disbelief, shock, and denial
Stage 2: Longing and a desire to be reunited
Stage 3: Angry with the person or situation
Stage 4: Depression, which includes feelings of sadness and emptiness
Stage 5: Acceptance of the loss and finding closure
Bring in Your Mutual Acquaintances, but Don’t Drag Them in
Notify your mutual friends that you are no longer in a relationship with your best friend. By doing so, they’ll know not to ask both of you out at the same time, and you’ll be able to avoid embarrassing situations.
The next very important lesson is- do not trash talk your ex-BFF in front of your common friends just because you are drenched in a turmoil of emotions.
While it may be tempting to air your grievances and inform your other friends about what happened between you and your former best friend, it is not worth it. Even if you trust your pals completely, gossip has a horrible habit of seeping out.
Try Hanging Out With Mutual Friends.
It’s possible that your former best friend was in the same friend group as you, making it difficult to distance yourself from them without alienating the rest of the group.
In that case, you can begin to avoid the same group and experiment with other smaller groups. Consider reaching out to other classmates or forming new friendships.
Trust Issues Shouldn’t Affect Other Relationships.
Well, it’s natural to develop trust issues with other friends after a best friend betrays you or fails to show up when you need them most. These particular feelings can sometimes spill over into other relationships in your life, leading you to close down or withdraw from those individuals who haven’t done anything to break your trust.
The trust issue one develops after going through a great deal of heartache affects other healthy relationships. You must recognize when trust difficulties arise and when it happens, avoid feeding those lies unless it is related to someone who broke your trust.
Likewise, keep your other good friends close to you with whom you can confide in. Lastly, you can consult a counselor or attend therapy sessions to work through your past grief. There are several self-help books written for these issues.
As there is one popular saying, “If you don’t heal from what broke you, you will bleed on people who did not cut you.”
Don’t Overlook the Positive Aspects
Burning those sweet notes and deleting the old photos from Instagram may feel comforting on the verge of angst, but it is just momentary relief. Ignoring positive memories might stifle the grieving process by preventing you from moving on with acceptance.
Whatever the current situation is, once your best friend was an essential part of your life, you undoubtedly shared many memories with them. So, it’s much better to respect those good times and give credit to the positive aspects, no matter what you eventually came upon.
Accept Responsibility for What Went Wrong
While it may have appeared that your bond with your best buddy was unbreakable, sometimes friendships are fragile, and you’ll have to accept it. Honestly, it is really difficult to view things clearly and see the actual problems while your emotions are running high like wild horses.
Once the anger subsides, you need to consider what went wrong so that you can mend the friendship. If you were responsible for the loss of your companionship, then you can work towards it.
Likewise, if it was your friend, you can think about forgiving them. Reflecting on what went wrong brings peace and teaches you valuable lessons that will help you develop, progress, and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Set Limits and Resist the Urge To Solve Problems Yourself.
Yes, it is possible that whatever issue you two were having may get resolved, and you’ll be friends once more, even closer. But, it is essential to take some time and space for yourself before jumping right into that patching-up situation.
During the first few days, you’ll feel extremely sad and vulnerable, which might even lead you to conclude that you can’t continue your life without that particular friend. Therefore, it is wise to distance from whatever happened and gain clarity first. Then only, you may reconsider if that friendship deserves a second chance or not!
Have Faith in the Fact That There Is a Light at the End of the Tunnel
As stated before, you might feel like your world will collapse without this friend with whom you shared every inch of your soul. Believe it or not, life has so much more to offer you. Even though it might seem inconceivable right now, it is one hundred percent possible.
You’re going to meet a lot more wonderful folks in the future. Having complete faith and empathy is the first step to anything- believe us!
Extend Your Circle and Try New Things
Have you considered expanding your circle or getting acquainted with a new group of people? It does not have to be a major deal, and it does not mean that you have to leave all of your old friends.
At any stage of life and under any circumstances, discovering new dependable friends is like adding assets to your life. Likewise, learning new skills, and trying new stuff just does not lets your mind wander off the pain but pays you well in the long run.
Maintaining a busy schedule will help you cope with the loss of your former best friend as well as the drama. And it’s even better if you meet your new best friend at some new place. Well, you never know!
Lastly, Be Your Own Best Friend and Live Your Life
Loss can take you by surprise and utterly wreck your life. You might skip doing the basic tasks like eating, sleeping, taking a bath, and so on. As time passes and sadness lingers, life seems inexplicable, leading to depression.
You gotta wake up, pull yourself up, and maybe run around the block a few times. Mind it- physical exercises have incredible mental and general health advantages. It is extremely dangerous to isolate yourself and put crucial tasks on hold indefinitely.
While everyone needs time to grieve over something before returning to normal life, one must not allow sadness to become their new best friend. Learn to be your own best friend and take care of that heart. Everything else will fall in place at the right time!
Despite your assumptions, friendships do not usually last forever. Throughout your life, you will make and lose friends. Best friends are unquestionably different and far closer than average friends, but sometimes we just have to accept our fate.
When you let go of a friendship that isn’t working, you allow yourself to find a rock-solid, amazing, even better company. In terms of grieving, it’s a matter of surviving for a while before gradually constructing a new and better existence.