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How to Breakup With Someone You Live With

How to Breakup With Someone You Live With

At some point in our life, we all choose our mental peace over anyone and anything. Be it that long-lasted friendship or a relationship you are head over heels in love with, if it doesn’t bring you peace, it is not worth it.

Even when everything inside you knows that you don’t want this relationship anymore. It might be hard to confront your partner, especially when you are living together.

If you are actually willing to get yourself out of that miserable and unfulfilling relationship, you will have to take that bold step and confront your partner about it as nothing worthwhile comes easily. Here we have mentioned some simple ways to end your relationship.

When to Break Up with Someone You Live With

It is your call, but before you end that relationship, just to be on the safe side, check if your relationship is worth giving one last chance. Because there is no going back, and you don’t have to go through that guilt trip later.

  • Have that honest conversation with them and explain to them what the exact problem is or what is bothering you.
  • Give him a chance to have his say. Listen to his side of the story.
  • Forgive each other. Try letting go of old grudges and giving them a fresh start.
  • Revive your connection. Remember why you fell in love with the person in the first place.
  • Seek advice from your close friends or even professional help.

How to Breakup With Someone You Live With

If you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to be working. And if you are physically or emotionally abused, or if you can’t trust your partner, or if your major values don’t align, then go for it. There is no point in second-guessing yourself here.

First, Prepare Yourself

First, Prepare Yourself

Prepare yourself since you are both living together. Decide where you are going to live after the breakup. Have it ready. What you are going to say, give some solid reasons. Prepare a logistic distribution of things you have in common. Be prepared for questions they will ask. Even so, prepare yourself for some heated arguments.

Choose the Right Place and Time

choose the right place and time

There is no such thing as the right time to break up but there are definitely certain things you need to take care of when you break up.

Wait for some time if your partner is going through a stressful time like losing their family member, if any of their family members are seriously ill, if they have lost their job or if any such difficult time.

Do not break up when you are having some heated argument or a fight. Do not break up in public this is your private matter and this should be sorted out in private itself. Breaking up through a chat or a phone is a very wrong way.

Prepare Your Partner for the Conversation

Do not burst the news of a breakup out of nowhere or tell them about the breakup in the middle of some other conversation. Inform them early about this. Send them a message or tell them you need to have some serious conversation this evening so that they will have some time to prepare themself. Do not just go to them while they are busy doing something and start talking about a breakup. That is a very wrong approach.

Be Honest and Kind

Be yourself, tell them how you feel, and explain clearly to them what exactly made you take this step. Find some kind words to phrase what you have to say. Don’t use hurtful words, don’t make them feel bad about themself.

Explain how you have fallen out of love or how things are not going right in the kindest way without being offensive. Make sure you don’t cross your line where you go insulting them. Make them feel like you still want good for them even if you part ways.

Prepare for Their Reaction

prepare for his reaction

Prepare yourself for their reaction they might be angry, emotional or maybe they say this coming. Just prepare yourself for the reaction and don’t get carried away or manipulated by their reaction. Remember why you decided to break up in the first place and stick to it. Answer their question they have all the right to know and when it is clear to you both it will be easy to move on as well.

Own the Breakup

own the breakup

Own the breakup and stick to your decision, even if they try to convenience you to reconsider your decision. Explain it to them how you have tried everything and given your hundred percent before taking such a bold decision. Just because you are parting ways doesn’t mean you have to be rude. Appreciate their good quality and the good things they did. Overall just handle it in the calmest way.

 Plan to Revisit if Needed

plan to revisit if needed

Since you both were staying together and sharing everything so talk about how you might have to meet each other now and then. Ask them to take some time when you can both sit together and discuss about the parting things. Keep that healthy space for meeting each other in the future.

Suggest to Stay Friends

suggest to stay friends

Convince them that you are still willing to remain in touch with them. No matter what has happened tell them you still want them to be happy in their life. And you can still be friends.


All said and done, even if you are the one who has decided to break up it is not going to be easy for you for a few days or months as you both were staying together, sharing the space. But you will have to deal with this no matter how hard it gets. Consider the things I have mentioned below which will help you to detach yourself from someone in a very short time.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

allow yourself to grieve

Grieving is the first step to healing. It will be a roller coaster of emotion. Getting yourself out of it especially when you were living together will be hard threefold. But you will have to allow yourself every emotion that comes along. There is no other way out here. Cry if you have to, and share it with your close friends. Convince yourself that all the emotions you are feeling right now are a part of your healing process.

Do Not Feel Guilty or Bad

Do Not Feel Guilty or Bad

Don’t feel guilty or bad for yourself. Even if you are the one who initiated the breakup that doesn’t mean you are the bad person here. You did a favor for both of you. Now you both can focus on yourself without being miserable and also know what exactly you are looking for when you get yourself in a relationship next time.

Avoid Talking to Them for Time Being

Avoid Talking to Them for Time Being

Respectfully cut off the contact at least until the idea of getting back with them will disappear from your mind. It might be hard to do so but delete their number, and block them from every social site. You will recover emotionally soon if you cut off the contact. You will be in that phase of denial for a long time and find yourself doubting your decision if you remain in touch even after the breakup.

Focus on Yourself

focus on yourself

It is obvious you lose a sense of yourself when you have spent so much time with someone else. You start becoming like them more or less. This is the time to get your sanity back. Start doing things you love, take this as an opportunity to do things you always wanted to do but couldn’t do because of your relationship. Learn new skills, keep yourself distracted, and don’t let yourself get lost in the thoughts of a breakup. You made the right decision now focus on making yourself a better person. After all, a better you attract a better someone.

Spend More Time With Your Friends and Family

Spend More Time With Your Friends and Family

Chances are you will feel lost and lonely and also will need a lot of emotional support. So rely on your friend and family for this. Don’t let yourself be alone. Surround yourself with people you love. Seek emotional support and advice from them. Listen to them and move forward.

The idea of living together with someone you love can be fun but you never know when the tables turn and one of you starts losing feelings. Relationships are complicated but when you start getting red flags i.e. signs about how it is not going to work out. Get yourself out of this. Don’t ignore those red flags and save yourself from heartbreak and misery. I know break up can be terrible sometimes, it will affect your mental health too but do remember this is just a phase and will pass eventually.

Related Questions

How Much Time Will It Take for Me to Get Over My Ex?

There is no specific time to get over someone. This is all personal and depends upon you. If you choose to see the good side of the breakup learn your lesson and consider this as your blessing it will help you to overcome soon. But if you keep looking for the reasons to go back to your ex and don’t focus on the good side it will take you a long time to get over. You haven’t done the work if you haven’t gotten over it. You’re still perplexed as to why this happened to you.

How Can I Focus More on Myself After Breakup?

Consider visiting a therapist, reading self-help books, learning new skills, doing what makes you happy, doing meditation and yoga, travel a new place with your friends and family. These are some of the things you can do to distract yourself from a breakup and focus on yourself.

How Do I Cope With a Breakup?

One thing to remember is to feel all of your emotions. We try to rush through the grieving process, but honestly, this isn’t something you can rush. This is a genuine grieving process in a breakup, just as there is in the death of a loved one. You go through different healing processes. So go ahead and feel it. Don’t try to mask your feelings with drugs or alcohol, overeating, avoiding, or simply entering another relationship. You must process and heal. Become yourself and think about another relationship.